Under the influence of the ongoing opposition of Saturn in Leo with Neptune in Aquarius (not complete until June 2007), I have been noticing a theme in my own life and many of my clients. It begged to be the topic of this month’s newsletter. Perhaps you will resonate with it as well.
The story begins with the feeling of confusion and the awareness of chaos in the external world. This is aided by mudslinging electioneering, the nuclear saber rattling by North Korea, and the general feeling of malaise regarding the seeming intractable problems of Iraq, environmental degradation, oil dependence, and healthcare/pharmaceutical inflation…on and on and on. You don’t need me to recount the issues. They are in your face daily in the paper or on TV and radio.
Or these feelings of confusion may hit closer to home for you. Perhaps you are dealing with a lack of job satisfaction, an unhappy relationship, or the feeling that something in your life isn’t quite right. Neptune’s influence can leave you feeling lethargic, unfocused and uncertain as to what to do about it.
At the same time, I find Saturn in Leo is asking us to be true to our self; to honor our own needs for self expression and self-actualization. If I am honest, really honest with myself, the truth is I am so much better at honoring and supporting others no matter where they are in their life…than I am at honoring myself.
Perhaps, like me, you were taught that it is better to give than receive. Now that is a prescription for burnout if I ever heard one. Giving without receiving often ends with nothing left to give. That is certainly NOT in harmony with the flow of life. Try only breathing out.
Being true to yourself requires that you open up to receive from others or from life in whatever way grace shows up. Being receptive does not involve searching or seeking to receive but merely holding open the possibility that life has something to give you without your having to do anything besides holding gratitude and faith foremost in your life.
In addition, honoring yourself requires being honest. In the act of being a good giver, have you ever discovered that you compromised or accommodated for another person leaving them thinking that you agreed with them when, in reality, you actually just sublimated your own needs to theirs. You may not have thought of that as being dishonest, but it is.
Focusing only on agreement and avoiding differences is certain to leave your relationship with a weak foundation, shallow and dishonest. When you lie to yourself, you end up being dishonest to others as well.
I am reminded of this passage from Shakespeare’s Macbeth:
“This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.”
Above all, being true to yourself calls for deeply listening to yourself. What does your heart tell you? Taking time to meditate, walk in the woods, or just sit and ponder opens space for greater self awareness. Let these next few months be an opportunity to get to know yourself better. Listen to your hopes and dreams as well as your disappointments and dissatisfactions. Hold yourself in a loving way and your next steps will become clear.
