Archive for April, 2007

Aries New Moon – The Importance of Self-Care

Tuesday, April 17th, 2007

In the world in which I was raised, emphasis was given to caring for others. I was the oldest of six children with a mother who was often overwhelmed. Service to the needs of others became as natural as breathing. It still is. Does this sound familiar?

Through the years, however, I have come to realize the importance of self-care as an absolute necessity, if you intend to provide good service in the world.

At the time of an Aries New Moon it is appropriate to talk about self-care since the energies of Aries are all about self-care, self-determination, self-initiative. With an Aries Sun, you would think I’d have learned this lesson early, but Chiron in Libra closely opposes my Sun making service to others part of my essential nature. (By the way, this points out the shallowness of astrology that focuses only on the Sun’s sign, but that’s another article.)

In truth, unless you are feeling empowered and energized in your own life, you won’t have the inner resources to give to others or worse yet, resentment will underlie whatever you give.

Self-care can mean different things to different people. To arrive at the feeling of personal satisfaction different approaches will be taken unique to each individual. You may find enjoyment by a walk in the woods, another may feel soothed by a visit to a day spa, and I find being by a body of water very healing.

Doing whatever replenishes and rejuvenates you is not selfish. It is self-loving and part of the self-care we each need to maintain our contentment with ourselves and our life.

Self-care activities may be physical (jogging) or emotional (a day at the art museum) or spiritual (a long meditation by the water). It doesn’t matter. Again, this will be unique to you and where you personally draw your inspiration for living.

How well have you been maintaining your needed self-care lately? Particularly if you have a focus of service to others, you must not disregard your own needs.

Self-care is actually a means for giving clear and useful service in the world. It helps keep our life in balance, something we all need to do.

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A Distortion of the Meaning of Love

Friday, April 13th, 2007

My husband and I were walking recently along a corridor in the Crystal City Underground when I stopped and did a double take. There was a poster on the wall that said:

Love is Fleeting, Knowledge Lasts

When I first read it I got a visceral reaction to the message. That message is upside down, backwards and erroneous, I thought.

Everything I know about Love tells me it not only lasts, but it is eternal. Before Chuck, I loved deeply twice before – my first husband and my fiance who died of a brain tumor before we married. Believe me, the love I felt (feel) for them has not fleeted.

As I read the rest of the poster, I discovered it was a public service message regarding HIV/AIDS. I assume they were trying to convence the reader that education about HIV/AIDS is the answer.

Frankly, I think the poster points out the problem all right, but it isn’t the need for education, in my view. The poster points out our society’s distortion of the meaning of Love.

It isn’t Love that is fleeting. It is sexual satisfaction that is fleeting. But you would think by this poster that sex and love were the same thing.

I bet that confusion between sex and love is just what is fueling the rise of HIV/AIDS and the high teen pregnancy and abortion rate as well.

Somehow we are given the message that Love and Sex are one and the same. They are definitely not!

What if along with the education about HIV/AIDS we taught our young a more honest, candid, and honoring approach to our body, our sexual function and a distinction were made between the spendor of love and the momentary sensual pleasure of sex?

Perhaps then the poster would be correctly worded:

Sex is fleeting. Love lasts. Don’t confuse the two.

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The Full Moon of Relationships

Monday, April 2nd, 2007

Today there is a Full Moon in Libra (with Sun in Aries) highlighting the topic of relationship in our life. In some way, our attention is focused on differences that arise between us and others, which can mean issues or appreciation will arise.

The polarity between the partnership-focused sign of Libra and the independence-seeking sign of Aries is alway a challenge. How much do our own needs get attention when we are trying to create harmonious relationship and how much must we compromise before we lose our sense of self? Me or we – where do I place my attention?

In reality, both ends of this polarity are important. In our day-to-day living, we must find a balance point and that balance point is never the same. If my partner is ill, I will naturally be called to give more attention to his needs. When he is well, I may return to balance by taking extra time to pursue my own interests.

In a collaborative relationship, the balance of alone and together is a moving point that allows for “the dance.” He will sometimes agree to eat at the restaurant that I choose and I will sometimes watch the movie that he chooses.

Today the Full Moon is asking us to pay attention. How balanced are you feeling within your relationships? Have you been doing all the giving? What can you do or say to bring back the feeling that your are receiving as much as you are giving?

This balancing effort has a payback. The payback is finding out how much you appreciate the people you are in relationship with. That appreciation has a chance to blossom when we bring back balance by either learning to receive more or by graciously giving more and opening to the good feelings of having served another.

All of our relationships – intimate, business, friendly – can benefit by paying attention to the balance of giving and receiving. Like the Chinese symbol for balance, the Yin/Yang, we are reminded that we are whole when we able to balance the giving and receiving in our relationships.

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