A friend called to vent recently. I’ll call her Sue. After a tirade of complaints about a mutual friend’s behavior (let’s call her Jane), I began to get uncomfortable. It was true, Sue’s description of Jane’s unwanted behavior, but why was it such a big deal to Sue? Why was she picking at the wounds of another?
I too had experience the same behavior, but as I heard it described by my venting friend, I understood it as a part of the Jane’s wounding – Jane needed to commandeer everyone’s attention so it was focused on her.
I have come to accept that everyone, including me, carries a wound within – some people’s wounding is deeper than others. Those who are courageous and determined may heal their wound or at least begin to use it in a positive way.
In an astrology chart, Chiron represents the wound or vulnerability with which we are born. However, it also has the potential to become a strength or gift that we offer others.
Sue’s challenge with maintaining her own self-confidence was the reason why Jane’s bold grandstanding was a source of irritation.
I have come to realize when I get a strong reaction to someone’s behavior that it is almost always due in some way to my own unhealed parts. When that happens, I reflect the focus back to me and process why I have reacted. What in me is unhealed and wanting to project that onto someone else?
You might ask – is it really always about us? I say, YES. The origin of your view of the world is the consciousness behind your eyes and that part is always making interpretations, not based on the abstract reality of what you see, but on the supposed meaning made up from within you based in part on your past experiences, painful or otherwise.
Rather than picking at the wounds of another, why not undertake healing your own wounds? Open to the truth that everyone else is wounded too and live a more joyful life? If you feel pain or even just irritation from someone else’s actions use it as the gift it is to see your own place of tenderness, your wound.
