The success of “The Secret” has exposed the truth that what we focus on creates our reality. Interest in consciously creating our reality or what might be thought of as “being conscious when interacting with reality” is an important step toward living a life of joy and fulfillment. Naturally, we need to remember we co-create our existence in partnership with our Source and are not the origin of our life.
But let’s think about just what sort of lens we are looking through when we focus on our life? Is that lens created by our expectations or intentions? What is the difference?
Expectation in my view is what we set up when we create a picture in our mind of what we want. That picture is usually very detailed and specific. Once created, it remains as the template against which we measure anything that appears.
For several years while single, I held a picture of the partner I expected to find. The trouble was my picture was so ideal, so perfect that no one ever matched it. My expectations actually prevented me from finding a mate because I was so hung up on the details (looks, status, etc).
Expectations have a quality of “I want this” and involve anticipation of fulfillment from a rather self-centered, needy perspective.
On the other hand, intentions arise out of an inner desire or plan for our life that involves some sort of action. There is willingness to take action to create appropriate environment out of which what we desire can arise.
For example, when a farmer intends to have a plentiful harvest of crops, he takes the action of planting seeds in spring and weeding regularly through the summer to create the conditions for the fall harvest. If he just sat on his porch picturing in his mind that way he expects the field to look in the fall, there would be nothing to harvest.
What I am describing is the difference between wishful thinking and co-creating with our Source. Perhaps that is what is behind the saying, “God helps those who help themselves.”
The problem of trying to manifest through expectations is that it leaves no room for something better.
Going back to my example of having expectations of what my partner would be like, I can tell you that my beloved husband Chuck didn’t show up until I let go of knowing exactly what was best for me. He has many of the qualities I was seeking but there were many other qualities that I hadn’t even factored in and he came in a quite different package that I had “expected.”
Basically, when we seek to create the future by definite expectations, we are doomed to disappointment either by not finding anything that could possible measure up or by finding a match and discovering later it wasn’t quite the right thing.
We can best create possibilities for a desired future by holding an intention of what we would like that includes: 1) a willingness to do all that we can to create the environment for our desire to appear and 2) an openness to accept our intention or something better, leaving room for the Universe to gift us beyond our imagination.
Now that’s creating through intention in harmony with the Divine!
To the extent we can live without demanding or expecting (except from ourselves), so can we be free from disillusionment and disappointment. To expect something from another because it’s right is to court unhappiness. Others can and will only give what they are able, not what you desire they give. When you cease placing conditions on your love you have taken a giant step toward learning to love.
~Leo Buscaglia
