Under the New Moon of Cancer thoughts of family are never far away. For example, with Father’s Day yesterday in the U.S., Dad may still be in the forefront of your mind. As I began write this newsletter, I was sitting in a rain-soaked campsite, enjoying the annual family campout with my two daughters, their families and several others.
Thoughts of family can bring warm, nurturing feelings of belonging like I am feeling now or ones of anger, disappointment and loneliness as I felt in my youth.
However, at some point, we all must make sense of the relationships we have with family members. Were they supportive and encouraging or controlling and critical? Was your family one you enjoyed being with or one you couldn’t wait to get away from? And how are your relationships now?
There’s no doubt about it. Family is important. Within it lies rooted the essence of who we are. After all, each of us has been molded by the environment we were born into and formed opinions and beliefs about life from our early experiences.
When we are older, we get the chance to view parental authority figures in a whole new way. Their level of emotional maturity becomes easier to assess when we have attained an adult level of conscious awareness. We can see how they had been doing the best they could at the time.
We also have the opportunity to become aware of any Soul-level agreements playing out, such as those Carolyn Myss speaks of in her book “Sacred Contracts.”
I suspect the Creator believes we need the experience of family for our evolutionary growth. Not only are we born into a family, most of us have created our own family, and everyone is part of the human family. Aren’t we also part of the cosmic family of all beings?
We can speak of our birth family, our family of friends, the human family, and the family of nations.
Our family facilitates our self-discovery though the quality of our relationships with family members. Just as “no man is an island,” I believe it is also true that no man can function without a family.
The question is: Where do you find your most beneficial experience of family? If you come from a loving, supportive family, you most likely see them as the source of your love and belonging.
However, if like many others, you have unresolved issues and blocks with your family of origin, you have probably sought to find your sense of family among your friends. Forming family-like ties with friends allows you to choose only those who offer support and understanding. With their encouragement you can feel the same love and joy of belonging that others find within their blood-ties.
Whether you find belonging among your blood-family or among your friends, I believe, it is still a precious and important experience that mirrors who we are and how we are special. Either way family is a gift to help us grow and evolve, even when it comes from negative experiences.
There’s no time like the present to consider the value of your family and tell them (blood or not) the important roles they have played in your life. Celebrate them!
“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life.”
~ Richard Bach, Illusions
